Where's the Masla at?

Fawad, koi masla?
Still from Zindagi Gulzaar Hai.

The TV in our household largely brought shouting matches disguised as prime-time news debates, rom-coms on Romedy Now, action and thriller movies, among some Bollywood favorites to our home.

Appa is not the best with handling electronics/gadgets, Ma is something of a pro. Ma has this engineer/scientific curiosity when it comes to handling them- tweaking, figuring out their features and fixing them. When it comes to the TV however, Appa has always been the one in control. Of course when the set-top box acts up, he sits and waits for Ma (or me) to fix it. Often it's that simple trick of restarting the system. But otherwise, he has always been at ease with the TV - effortlessly switching back and forth between Sarfarosh, Taken, Baadshah reruns and Arnab Goswami. It's an artful performance.

Last year, we purchased a 'smart TV' and Appa discovered the world of watching YouTube videos on the big screen. Something strange began to happen. Live TV (a.k.a shouting matches, not so much cricket matches) gave way to YouTube videos of experiences with the Maha Periava. And when I would enter the room to switch off the TV in case I saw Appa asleep, he would immediately wake up and tell me he was watching it - just like my Paati (his mother) doing the same during late night cricket matches.

Sometime last year, Ma happened to catch a couple of episodes of a Pakistani TV show on Zee's Zindagi Channel, while visiting a friend's house. She started following some of the shows when she had gone to Madras for a month. When she got back, my father would change the channel to Zindagi at specific times when he knew a particular show would be playing.

Appa usually guards the TV remote control pretty well but once in a while, when he knows that either Ma or I want to watch a particular channel for some movie or show, he obliges and retreats to reading a book. Ma has never been demanding about TV time. She went along with whatever crazy action thriller movie Appa would be watching. So unused to watching TV shows was she, that during the very few I remember watching when I was a child (Kora Kaagaz, Saans, Tu Tu Main Main, Dekh Bhai Dekh etc.), she was would ask in a slightly panicky voice whether the show was over every time it gave way to a commercial break. We hardly followed any show - just a once in a while thing. So in my mind, it wasn't possible for my parents to follow TV shows. For pretty much all my adult life up to now, TV every evening primarily meant the various news channels. So I was surprised to note that during dinner every evening, there was a different pattern emerging. Even when my mother was travelling in between, my father would watch the shows and update her with summaries. So clearly it wasn't something Appa was doing to please Ma. He was invested enough to watch it without her.

Every evening, I sit with my parents and watch what they're watching. We eat dinner and I stay for a little while longer before retreating to my room. So, it wasn't long before Zindagi took over my Zindagi as well. The only Pakistani TV show I had seen before was Zindagi Gulzaar Hai - it is still my top favorite one. My friend Raabiya recommended it to me and in my time battling jet lag last summer, I binge watched it. Also, Fawad Khan - I really don't have to say more. So slowly, I found myself entering my parents' new found Zindagi.

In March, my brother and sister-in-law came to visit us - their annual India trip. So invested, engaged and deep into these shows were we, that I'm pretty sure they thought aliens had abducted us and left behind impostors who seemed to sprinkle Urdu words in conversations and watched TV with utter focus. But they couldn't be left out - are they not a part of the family? (that is an inside joke, for the benefit of only the immediate family). And soon, other YouTube channels were discovered by Appa - we began watching shows that weren't currently airing. When my brother went to visit family in Madras, he actually updated my cousin on the background of the shows every evening.

For the parents' wedding anniversary in April, we had decided to drive down to Chandigarh and spend the day. They had finally begun watching Zindagi Gulzaar Hai on my suggestion. We had all said our goodnights at about 10 PM. But when I finished some office work at 11 PM and noticed the light on in their room, I decided to remind them to sleep soon since we had an early morning and they had to drive. They were watching ZGH on YouTube, so I joined them. 20 minutes later, my brother noticed something was up and ended up joining us and watching it. My sister-in-law was asleep - my brother did try to check on her, to check on whether she would like to join in. At about 12.30 AM, we decided that with the end of a particular episode, it was time to sleep. I mean, I decided. My mother politely opened the room of her bedroom, pointing at me to leave and let them watch more ZGH if they wanted to. I found out next morning that they slept at 2 AM.

You get the picture. My parents are addicted (to- I mean, for life/Zindagi - hahahahahhahhaa. Yes, I may be the only one laughing at that.) and I must live with them to take care of them.

I asked my father why he watches these shows. He said, "dimaag kharaab hai, is liye." Possible. But I prodded him and he said, "They're not loud. I like that."

I don't have much experience watching Indian TV shows that were made after the 90s, sort of. Those of you around my age would understand which ones I mean (Hip Hip Hurray, Flop Show, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Just Mohabbat, Hum Paanch, Family No. 1, Boogie Woogie, among many others) Sure, I did venture into watching some of the K serials when they began in the early 2000s. That was short-lived. But I guess I understand what he meant by "they're not loud". They dress a little more realistically on a day-to-day basis on the show, for one. People do hatch evil plots. There are villainous characters - but they usually don't have an iconic bindi or clothes to tip you off. But you figure out what the issue is when someone asks, "Koi masla?"You hear the word 'masla' so often that I feel there is potential for a drinking game here. Also, these shows move fast. Most of them are roughly 20-30 episodes long. Sometimes, they're so fast paced that before they break, you find out that one of the female characters is pregnant. Post-break, the child is about 5 months old.

But this speed, in other aspects, leaves me with an unsettling feeling. It seems that our characters are quick to marry and doubly quick to get divorced and then married again. Talaqs slip into arguments and you're like whaaaaaa? And families seem to be in a hurry to get their newly divorced sons and daughters married again - because apparently after a certain age, you just cannot to be single (subcontinental sentiments, perhaps). Chatt Byah, Patt Talaaq.

I don't remember much of what happens in shows where Fawad Khan or Adnan Siddiqui are on, because I end up only staring at them, starry-eyed (fangirllll). Also, you know it's Karachi when they show this footage of a busy road/flyover - because it almost always is Karachi.

There will always be a balance in characteristics of characters. One female character would be radical in the way she chooses to live her life (for example, fly off to Dubai for the weekend with some friends to attend a concert, without informing your fiance and leaving your phone behind). Another female character will always be submissive to everybody's wishes.

They're entertaining. I have no idea whether these shows are meant to reflect life in Pakistan - the same way that a lot of Hindi shows don't (fly(ing) transformations, anyone? hing: Sasural Simar Ka). But so far, we have no masla with this Zindagi.